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What hurts me deeply is that he consistently refuses to use protection, something I truly care about.

I don’t want to jeopardize my life by accidentally getting pregnant, nor do I wish to terminate a potentially adorable baby, even if it's legally permissible.

The last time we met, I brought four condoms, but he didn't use a single one that day.

Last night, he brought back the box of condoms I had left at his place and used one. This morning, I realized there were only two left.

It suggests he used one with someone he cares about. Yet, he neglects to use them with me, indicating he doesn't value my well-being.

What's even more painful is that I confided in him and his friend about why I decided to start my own business. I believed he understood the wounds in my heart, but it seems he never truly cared. This realization is excruciating.

My ex once told me, "You are easy to underestimate." I was so enraged that we ended up arguing at the pizza shop.

But he was right, no one cares about my life even if they are good at pretending to treat me as an important person. somehow i figure it out and get hurt

and the truth makes me wanna die again, i was supposed to do everything I want before I die that's why my grandparents and pote and john in the heaven pushed me  back to this world. i know there are so many things to do, which are related to my dream. i should not stop everytime i get hurt, but at the same time i dont know how to 

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